just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
