How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
We are all done wearing pants today
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
