my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
