Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
