i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize
