I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
