i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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