I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
