i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
