You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
