You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize