How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
