just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
