Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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