Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
