your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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