They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
