And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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