Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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