so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
