It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
