bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Randomize
