im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
