Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
The uberlube is also flammable
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
