Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
