I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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