we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Walk of Shame today included voting.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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