proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
