I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
