Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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