btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
