D3 body, D1 cock
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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