You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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