I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
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