I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Apparently you make a good broom.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
