My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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