then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
