Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Randomize