the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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