If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
