1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
