my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
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