...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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