Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
