We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
