Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
