Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
