that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
