just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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