Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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