is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
