Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
