Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
