I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
