Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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