Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
