i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
