census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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