Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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