I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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