i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
