i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
