her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
