there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
