We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
