doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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