my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize